Once upon a time, I stumbled across a quotation that said:
Friends are the family we give ourselves.
I have loved that idea for over 25 years now, as I have always managed to have friends in my life who I consider to be as close to me (or closer) than my family. I have several friends that I call my "sisters," and I am sincere when I say that about them. It's not just hyperbole to me, or slang.
These friends know who they are, and they know that when they need someone, I'll move heaven and earth to be there for them, and to help them out in whatever way I can.
And I know that these friends will do the same for me.
What astounds me about them is that they loved me back in the day when I didn't see anything lovable about myself. They've stood beside me through every step of my life journey for the last almost 25 years, and have never been afraid to tell me when they think I'm making a mistake in my life. But they still stood beside me as a friend, even if they disagreed with my life choices at various times.
They shared my tears when my mom passed away. And they have rejoiced with me when there were things to rejoice about.
I started this post thinking about 2 special women I've known since I was in college. I met B when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman, and I met R when she was a junior and transferred into our school, where her dad was one of my professors. I think B & I officially go back 25 years now - it not, it's very close, and the friendship with R is only a year or so behind that.
Tomorrow morning, I'm meeting them for breakfast. We'll laugh, and share stories, and eat good food, and catch up on each others' lives. And the sharing will affirm and strengthen the bonds that are between us, that have proven stronger than the years and miles that have separated us. We have most of a day to spend together, and then we must go back to our various lives, and focus on the rest of our worlds.
But the friendship will remain, a vital part of each of our lives, a strong cord of connectivity in an isolating world. And the friendship will strengthen us, and refresh us, even if it's not fed with daily visits.
That's what friendships do. And it's worth celebrating.
I just spent 3 hours on the phone with another good friend. M was a professor at my university when I was an undergrad, teaching in the Social Work dept when that was my major. Somehow I never had a class with her, and over the years we have agreed that it was probably a good thing, because it left us free to be friends without any interference by the needs of a professor dealing with a lackadaisical student. Seeing M was always a bright spot in my day, and she was always encouraging me, which I usually needed.
Our times together are incredibly sporadic, but always when we come together there is warmth and laughter, and sharing and encouraging, wrapped up with love and respect.
I had the opportunity, about five years ago, to tell her how much her friendship meant to me during my undergrad years. She believed in me, when I wasn't able to believe in myself. Her presence in my life went a long way towards making me the person I am today.
I often stand in wonder at the quality of friendships in my life, and thank God for the friends he has given me.
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